Why I Do This Work: A Love Letter to Pleasure, Healing, and Wholeness

There are questions I return to, over and over again:
What is giving me energy? What is of service to my community?

Sometimes I experience a lot of internal and external resistance as a pleasure activist. The following reflections keep me grounded in my why and keep evolving to fuel the fires that keep me going.

The Challenges I See + Help Transform

1. Touch Hunger and Disconnection in Long-Term Relationships

Many of the people who come to me have not been touched the way they long for; in years. Some are in relationships that have become platonic or disconnected. Their skin is starved for affection. Their bodies hold stories they’ve never had permission to speak.

Through my 1 : 1 erotic bodywork practice, I help people find their voice again; to name what kind of touch they want, where, and how. I become a mirror and a guide, helping them listen to their bodies and ask for the care they deserve. This often ripples out into their relationships; reinvigorating intimacy, or giving them the courage to ask for something new.

Image by Ismael dos Anjos

2. Trauma That Silences and represses the Body’s Voice

A majority of my clients are trauma survivors. Many have experienced sexual assault, incest, or coercive dynamics that left them frozen, voiceless, or trapped in people-pleasing. I meet them gently, without assumption, offering space to rebuild consent from the inside out.

I teach that fawning; doing things we don’t really want to do out of fear or habit; can be a trauma response and a tool developed for survival. And we begin to unlearn that together. We work slowly. We build language. We create agreements. We pause. We stop. We listen. We choose.

I offer a series of sessions to support my clients’ transformation, at their desired pace and readiness.

I help people move from numbness to knowing, from confusion to clarity, from silence to sovereignty.

Squirting Visuals_Clitoral Network G Zone

Anatomy of Arousal – Clitoral Network G-Zones | Artwork Carlyn Beccia

3. Sexual Shame and the Absence of Pleasure Education

Most of us living in western-colonized nations, never received real sex education. Especially not queer-inclusive, pleasure-positive, body-liberating education. Instead, we got silence, shame, heteronormativity, and purity culture. Especially if we were raised as girls or femmes.

This lack of information isn’t benign; it creates confusion, shame, and a disconnect from our own bodies. I know because I lived it. That’s why I now teach what I was never taught in an embodied, pleasure focused way.

As a sexological bodyworker and somatic sex educator, I offer people the chance to normalize their physical bodies, explore their anatomy, and voice their desires. Together, we rewrite the script. We remember that sex is not just about performance or reproduction. It’s a sacred act of connection; with self, with another, with the divine.

4. Unexplored Queer Desire and Later-Life Transitions

Some of my clients come to me later in life, newly awakening to their queerness after decades in heterosexual partnerships. They’re curious but unsure. Where do they start? How do they explore?

In these moments, I offer not just education, but celebration. I let them know it’s never too late. We begin not with their partner, but with their own desire. Because queerness, to me, is not just about who you’re attracted to; it’s about coming home to the truth of your body, your being and your whole higher-self.

5. Burnout and Overgiving Among Caregivers and Activists

Many of the people I work with are caregivers. Service-oriented. Activists. Parents. Educators. Lovers. They give and give and give; and rarely pause to receive.

I help them return to themselves. To treat their own bodies like gardens; tended, nourished, and sacred. I encourage solo pleasure as a spiritual practice, not in isolation from service, but as a way to sustain it. Because when we are well-resourced, we can show up more fully.

Pleasure isn’t a reward. It’s a right. It’s also a powerful teacher.

Why I’m Compelled to Do This Work

I didn’t choose this path casually. I arrived here through lived experience, intensive inner work, trainings, and spiritual calling.

I was raised in a system that discouraged body-awareness, that shamed self-touch, and that silenced feminine desire. I spent years unraveling that shame, rediscovering my own queerness, and reconnecting with the wisdom stored in my cells.

Now, I walk beside others on a similar path.

Because I believe pleasure is medicine.
Because I believe voice is power.
Because I believe that when we reclaim our bodies, we reclaim our lives.

This work isn’t just about sex. It’s about choice, presence, and belonging.
It’s about creating safer spaces in a world that often denies us the right to feel.
It’s about offering tools (language, touch, boundaries, breath, movement + sound) that help people come back to themselves.

When I guide someone in saying “yes” to what they want; or “no” to what they don’t; something sacred happens and it’s felt deeply. By holding and healing one body at a time, we’re shifting culture, together.

With devotion and delight,