Being Queer, for me, is more than just a label; it’s an all-encompassing embrace of my entire being within the LGBTQ2SI+ community. It’s about acknowledging the intricate connection between my mental, physical, and emotional selves. This understanding extends beyond sexuality and gender, recognizing the complex interplay of personal experiences, societal norms, and spiritual dimensions. Queerness celebrates wholeness, authenticity, and self-expression across every facet of existence, nurturing a profound sense of unity between my thoughts, sensations, and inner essence. It’s a journey marked by respect for individual autonomy, self-discovery, and holistic well-being in all its forms.
Living out as queer and trans, has been, and still is, a violent path for many. It’s been the root of harmful othering and shameful ostracization. Unnecessary punishment and death. Although the term ‘queer’ has been wielded as a weapon of derogation by most dominant cultures, it’s ongoing work to reclaim its multifaceted beauty—a tribute to everything that defies (and can include) the confines of mainstream norms. That which cannot be defined. To be out as queer is a privilege and with that comes responsibility. To take up space, care for my being, enrich my life and give back to my communities where I can. I shine when I can for the ones who paved the way, the ones who’ve left this plane and for the beings who might need a beacon or an example of what’s possible. It’s become my way of existing authentically. Fluid in nature with capacity to grow, transform and hold intricate multidimensionality.
Embracing my queerness has been a path of healing for me. Many of my internal scars are the result of lifetimes of exclusion, neglect, and abandonment. Through intentional self-care and self-assertion, I’ve confronted my inner demons and asserted my right to occupy space, to take risks, and to stand proudly in my truth. A self reclamation process that continues to support my belonging.
Erotic Healing Arts
Being queer makes me feel alive, turned on, and plugged in. More than just a mode of self-expression; it’s a spiritual journey, an exploration of life’s emergent energies. I first encountered this transformative power during the Summer Solstice of 2017, when I immersed myself in the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program. Here, I found an existing radical community that transcended traditional boundaries, encouraging individuals to explore beyond the binary and embrace a spectrum of intimate possibilities. Led by Barbara Carrellas, whose generous teachings and wisdom resonated deeply with my embodied queer soul. She grants permission to include sexuality with spirituality making it accessible for all genders, races, preferences and beliefs.
During our week together, we sampled eros through tantra and BDSM. Exploring emergent possibilities and polarities with intention and love. In her book, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st Century, Barbara compares the two: “Erotic arts of consciousness”.
“Both embrace a variety of powerful consensual practices. Both practices involve conscious giving and receiving. Both erotic arts encourage personal freedom, individuality and imagination. Both produce trance states, and transcendental, transformational experiences.”
My touchstone and entrypoint for what I had been longing for for most of my adult life. Within a predominatly queer group. I fully animated for the first time. For years, I straddled two worlds—the usually only out-queer in my spiritual circles and the lone spiritual practitioner in my queer communities. The divide between them left a void within me, sparking a quest for reconciliation.
Since experiencing my awakening within the Urban Tantra community, I’ve been on a mission to share the erotic magic. To co-create spaces that are radically LGBTQ2SI+ centred and safe enough for me and my communities.
Knowing I’m never alone in this endeavour. I have many colleagues and teachers in connection sharing this mission of collective erotic liberation. A galaxy of queer folks have bravely paved the way, and I’m here to amplify their efforts, share resources—to create safe enough spaces where queer beings can empower themselves through trauma-informed ecstatic practices and embrace personal accountability in their connections.
“Erotic pleasure can be a way to access altered states and other worlds. Beyond ordinary reality and everyday consciousness, we can connect with a deep, trans-personal wisdom that can guide our lives. Sexual energy can be experienced as transformative spirit, an aspect of the sacred, a way to dance in union with all that is.” ~ Caffyn Jesse | Healers on the Edge.
Image | Zukaro Media
During the global lockdowns, like many, I lived through periods of profound isolation. It was when spirit bitch-slapped me with burnout and reminded me of the importance of, authentic human connection; shared ecstatic experience; and emotional attunement. This spiritual emergency was the catalyst I needed. Enrolling with the Institute for Somatic Sex Education, was the next step that provided me with the tools for reconnection, including mindful erotic practices like orgasmic yoga, a medibation*, which became a catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness. Identifying my desires and body’s longings for attunement and a clear voice.
*Medibation, a gateway to ecstasy, is a term I learned from Annie Sprinkle that combines meditation and masturbation.
After a year of embodied learning, I became clear on my manifesto—a set of guiding principles for creative erotic wholeness and shared intimacy within queer-hearted communities. My ongoing mission is to cultivate spaces where shared erotic experiences are celebrated and sacredness is redefined in presence. I got specific with the question, Why are queer and trans erotic embodiment spaces important? I knew my reason and for every person I asked, I received a unique response.
Queer Erotic Embodied Unity
Inspired by the retreat spaces and intensives that have shaped my being, Queeros is the culmination of my vision—a community hub where queer and trans individuals can come together to explore and share erotic experiences, both professionally and playfully. It’s a space for skill-sharing, radical self-expression, and collective recharge.
I also recognize that I am connected to an abundance of talented sex educators, bodyworkers, kinky explorers, performers and erotic ritualist. Where do we gather to retreat, inspire, skill share, play and be among experts and feel welcomed to be our fully expressed glorious erotic selves? This is Queeros.
Queeros is a community fire ritual that is always alive. It’s way of being and a place where we inspire with possibility and build resiliency. It’s many things, a travelling retreat, an online international community and an abundant library of erotic embodiment.
With the support of loved ones and mentors; inspired by the communities I serve; I continue to take steps, building the foundation of this dream, knowing that consistency and ongoing self-care will lead me to where I am free to be.
I look forward to crossing paths with you dear reader. May this inspire your own unfolding and being. Blessings to you for sharing your attention with me ❤︎
